Swan Bitcoin releases a new product to streamline the process of losing your house speculating on Bitcoin

"Convert home equity into Bitcoin", Swan Bitcoin advertises with their new home equity product. Relatively few details are available on the new loan product they're offering, but they advertise that you can close on the loan in "as little as 5 days", obtain loans with no income or credit check, and obtain loan amounts from $20,000 to over $1 million. What could go wrong?

"Rates starting at 7.5%, with 80% Bitcoin upside appreciation", they say. Downside risk is, naturally, not mentioned.

For those unfamiliar, Swan Bitcoin is a US-based Bitcoin-only crypto platform (although CEO Klippsten would surely yell at me for saying it is a "crypto platform", as he insists at every opportunity that "Bitcoin is not crypto").